I do my best. Let God do the rest.

-contributed by Veronica

Once a month, the Our Lady of Bethesda Retreat Center has a Women's Morning and Evening of Reflection (and a Men's one too) I have been attending these pretty regularily for the past two years, and every time I do I am blessed.

These mornings of Mass, a stellar talk, and lunch, have been exactly what I need. These talks strengthen me and my vocation. They give me the nourisment that I need to go home, love my husband and serve my family with love. They remind me of what I have forgotten about God's infinite love and His desire to be united with me.

The theme this month was "Humility". I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I really thought I knew something about humility. I am constantly serving these two young children, and trying to be patient with their needs. Lately however, I have been gritting my teeth through it. I have often wondered to God, "Why me?" I admit, I think I am struggling in some ways with my "promotion" to mother of two. But, I know that I felt very called to have both of these children exactly when we did.

Fr. John Hopkins told us that there is a big difference between the proud person and the humble person. The proud person is full of fear. He said they fear they will never be good enough. Uggh. Did I just hear a description of my own heart? I believe I did. I know the type of mother I want to be, and I haven't been living up to my own expectations. I've been tired. I've been snappy, rude, and have withheld love. I've been doing it to my kids, my husband, and even myself. I didn't realize how fearful, and how prideful I had been until I heard his words. They cut right to my heart. I have been having the heart of Martha- one that was saying, "look at how hard I am working, how much work I am doing." I had missed my Mary heart - the one that adored my children, my husband, my family.

I am tired of being Martha, pouting in the kitchen. I want to sit at the feet of God's presence, and adore it. God has given me his presence in my family. He has given me the faces of my beautiful children - and I was thinking they were a bother.

I needed to be told that I was being prideful. I needed to be told that I wasn't supermom, and more importantly, I didn't need to be. I wanted to be humble again. The humble person, Fr. John said, says "I do my best, and let God do the rest".

Simple, easy, and exactly what I needed to hear.

I pray that God can help me let go, and focus on the simple need of my family to be loved. I don't need to accomplish much, just to love them. God can take care of the rest. I just wish He made housecalls for laundry!

Next month's day of reflection is April 20th. I look forward to what God has to say to me then. I hope you can make it too!