Posted by Molly
We're all reeling from the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday. As a parent, it is the worst imaginable nightmare. I have shed many tears this weekend as I'm sure all of you have. A lot has been written about the people who died and it is heartbreaking to read about the children. There is no acceptable reason for children dying so young and in such a horrific fashion. There is no answer that will make this okay. So, I pray for those little ones and their families and then I leave it with God who I know is protecting them in heaven. And feel lucky to be a Catholic in times of sorrow because without my faith I don't know how I could live in a society capable of such evil. It is our faith that gets us through and even on our worst days that is something to be thankful for.
The stories about the adults killed at Sandy Hook touch me almost as much as those of the children. The principal and the psychologist who died as they lunged at the gunman, trying to stop him from going through with his murderous plans. The young teacher who hid her kindergartners in a closet and told the gunman that they were in the gym. These women lost their lives trying to save the lives of the children in that school. They are heroes. And when I think of them, I think of the people who work at my children's school. I have no doubt that the people I leave my boys with every day would lay their lives on the line to save them if something so awful ever came our way. This tragedy has shown us what evil looks like, but it has also shown us what angels look like. And it has made me appreciate the angels in my own life so much more.
Not much is known yet about the man who committed these atrocities, but a few terms have been thrown out casually to describe him. I have read that he may have been mentally ill and that he may have been autistic. As the daughter of someone who was bipolar and the teacher of the special needs religious education class where my three students are autistic, I find it alarming that these labels are being put on a murderer without any real evidence to prove either claim.
As I have mentioned before, my mother took her own life. She was an untreated mentally ill person because the stigma of mental illness kept her from seeing a psychiatrist for any length of time. She did not want to be labeled "crazy" so she let her illness destroy her rather than seek help. Mental illness is just that - an illness. People who suffer from it need help to beat it just as people who suffer from cancer need help to beat their disease. When we throw these terms around, it makes people ashamed of their condition, when they shouldn't be. Please don't judge people with mental illness. Please don't lump them together with murderers and notoriously evil people. My mom was the kindest, most loving person you would ever meet when she was well. She did not deserve to be stigmatized and afraid to seek help. If people were more understanding about mental illness, she would be her with me today and trust me we would all benefit from having her in our lives.
As for the claim that the shooter was autistic - whether or not it is true does not matter. Autistic people are not violent. They are not intolerant. They are just like you and me. Mentioning autism as a possible reason for someone to kill is like mentioning the killers hair color or skin color - it's irrelevant. The best day of my week every week is Monday because I get to spend an hour with my three little friends talking about Jesus and making crafts and smiling. These children are filled with goodness and light. It saddens me that the media would compare a killer to someone like my three CCD children. I pray that those who read these claims, understand that they are false and pass no judgement on the innocent.
As the weekend ends, I pray with you for the families in Connecticut who have lost their love ones. I pray for our community here at St Raphael, that God will keep our families and friends safe from such horrors. And I thank Him, for giving me the gift of faith and a place to share it.
Welcome to the on-line faith sharing space of the Women of St. Raphael
Thank you, Molly. This is once again a beautiful post, and one that is obviously close to my heart. Autism is complicated and mysterious and sometimes fearful to people who don't know anyone with autism. People with autism are not violent and generally speaking are more likely to be a victim of violence. People with autism aren't vengeful.
ReplyDeleteI love how you write about your mother. The deep love and admiration you have for her shines through. It breaks my heart that our society makes people feel ashamed to get help. Mental illness is no different that any other kind of illness.
Thank you for starting this discussion and being so outspoken, brave, and loving. You are a true gift to your student and their parents.