Peace...Eucharistic Adoration

Posted by Ginger

To sit quietly is a luxury for a lot of us, especially busy Moms. 

As I sit with my children, I don’t even own the space or air I breathe. They are all over me. There is constant noise, movement and chaos. And as I get ready mentally for the summer, that is quickly approaching I grow a little nervous.

Am I going to go crazy with this all day long?

I realize I am entering a new chapter of surrendering.

As mothers, we are called in this special vocation to give all of ourselves not just everything we have but everything we are.

And it isn’t always easy.  Motherhood is a minute-by-minute pouring out of one self for another.  Saying that sounds so beautiful, but the doing it day in and day out, minute by minute

answering to the demands of all  of our children knowing we can’t meet them all…is hard.  And it’s not pretty either…there’s lots of messes.  When they are little, the messes are spilled milk, throw up and dirty laundry and just plain old dirt (or at least it looks like dirt?) And when they are older, the messes are still there, they just look different…more emotional messes.

I was beginning to look forward to summer – until we had a few hot days in a row and I started to stick to everything, I began to remember how the heat could get to you.  And the questions began…AM I ready for the summer lord? Will you be with me? Will my children be safe? I am afraid of the water; will I take my eyes off them?  Will I take shortcuts just because it’s easier?

How am I going to handle the freelance work that I have to do this summer?  Will I find rest? My questions and worry made me tired…and so my prayer became…

“Dear Lord,

Thank you for this new season. Thank you for new beginnings.  Each day You recreate me and begin in me a new.  Thank you for this new day and new season as a new opportunity to serve You in my family.  But I have many fears and I want to surrender them to you and don’t know how.  Help me to be open to Your love and grace.  I give you the bits and pieces of my fragmented heart and ask that You make me whole. Help me to find joy in this vocation even when I feel tired and worn out. Give to me your perfect peace and love so that I may love others in peace and joy. Amen”

“Broken and shared and poured out for one another” is one of my favorite lines that describes who we are in Christ. 

Women and mothers have the special privilege

of making life giving sacrifices for others,

to those we love and our children.

It is the way He made us to be.

Each one of us is called to be like the Eucharist,

broken and shared, and poured out for one another.

“…this is my body, given up for you.”

As a mother, I know it is a privilege to be called Mom. But I didn’t know it in the depths of my heart – as deep as God wanted me to know it.  Until I started sitting in silence with Him.

In Eucharistic Adoration.

The chaos of small children overwhelmed me. The noise, the fighting, the days where it seemed to be endless crying, whinning, -= everyone calling for you at once. And the summer days – there just seems to be no break.  So I started getting up early, just to get ahead and have some quiet time to myself, to read something spiritual and to pray.  I began to see that the quiet solitude of a beautiful morning stood in sharp contrast to the chaos and noise.  I looked forward to the mornings especially at night when I was putting myself to bed in a collapsed state of exhaustion.

In that time spent with God something new began to take root in my heart. It was gratitude. I became more deeply aware of God’s goodness, not only around me, but within me. I began to know inner peace.

I began to see God in everything.  He has truly blessed me and my family. And that He didn’t just create us and leave us to figure it out alone.  He cares about every decision I make.  And when I find myself without the answers or stressed about which direction to take…I take it to Adoration. And I sit before the Lord. I have to be honest – at first it felt strange – sitting still in silence seemed like a waste of time when I had so much to do.  So I started slow.. and began with a simple question of “Lord, I am here. I want to believe. Can you help me?” 

Without His grace I am empty. I white knuckle everything – and I just grew tired.  But with His grace, there was a new found strength. 

So on Thursdays, I have taken Fr. Charlie’s advice and I arrive at pick up a little early and just drop in, and sit.  The total silence is actually beautiful! 

I am not that used to it yet – but I know I need it.

And knowing what comes next – when all the kids are in the car…I am treasuring the silence even more so. 

When I first began, I could only sit still for a few minutes. I was so used to rushing. But over time, it has become easier.  My prayers have become more fluid and I there are some days that I just pour out to the Lord.  I have also started to notice that pickup is way less stressful than it used to be.  The whining for play dates and fighting doesn’t seem to get to me as much as it used to. 

Answers to my questions seem to come more quickly too.  So I spend less time in worry or indecision.  And as a result my family receives a more peaceful mother.  

Even just a few minutes makes a difference and I am more thankful and aware of who and what my true treasures are in life, and I actually treasure them!!!

Who knew you could actually choose peace.